Dear Mom, It’s Ok To Take Your Cape Off Sometimes!

Stressed Young Woman Lying on Pile of Clothes. Model Released

 

Stress is common to all of us. Unfortunately, everyone feels the effects of stress at some point in their daily lives. As a mother, stress sometimes comes from the one place that  should be the happiest and most fulfilling part of your life. Yes, I am talking about your kids.

 Let’s be honest. Being a mom can sometimes be extremely stressful and draining. There are lots of beautiful and hysterical moments, and then there are those moments when you have the urge to go running down the street screaming your head off or curl up into a ball and cry your eyes out. Please, don’t feel guilty about feeling this way. I can assure you that you are not alone! The stresses of motherhood come from the constant care that children require, caring for little ones when they are ill, and all of those sleepless nights when your baby wants to play or sing at 2 am.

 Then there are the stresses of running back and forth taking older kids to sports practices, doctor’s appointments, classes, and lessons and/or sometimes just dealing with your child’s moods. All of these demands can cause you stress and even resentment. Again, you are not alone!! This happens to all moms, and it is 100% normal to feel this way especially if you are not getting enough sleep and/or the emotional support that you need.

 It’s also normal that you may feel guilty about feeling stressed and resentful. Kids are a huge responsibility, and even though you love them with all of your heart and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, they can stress you out and turn your hair GREY! Oh you thought those were highlights in my hair? :-)

 Sometimes you just want to escape from it all. While that may not be a bad idea, jumping on the next plane for Tahiti and never coming back is a bit extreme. However, getting away for an afternoon on a regular basis might be doable, and could do wonders for you and your kids. For some moms even one afternoon doesn’t seem realistic. I have definitely been there!

 If you can, ask a family member to watch the children, or trade babysitting duties with a trusted friend. Get out of the house and do something you really enjoy, whether it’s a quiet afternoon walk in the park or lunch and a movie with a friend. Even if you can only squeeze in a 10-20 minute walk to the corner, do it!

 Make sure you also get away once in a while with your husband for a date night. If you are parenting alone, try to schedule time with other solo moms, join a group of other solo moms and their kids on Meetup.com, or schedule time with yourself. Sometimes just doing something as simple as putting on makeup or fixing your hair differently is all you need to put a new spin on things. Plan a “Me” night after the kids are asleep. My “Me” night consists of a bubble bath, a facial, and all of the great shows trapped in my DVR. It’s okay to get away now and then, and it will give you a chance to re-identify with yourself, your friends and/or your partner.

When you become a mother, your kids become the first priority in your life, and that is the way it should be. However, you still need balance. You need time alone, and you need to take care of yourself. Do NOT let guilt or unsolicited advice from friends and family overshadow your joy or steal your sunshine! You are a great mom! Remind yourself of that everyday!

KEEP CALM AND MOM ON!!

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Categories: Busy Moms, Family & Parenting, New Mothers, WAHM

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

43 replies

  1. What a great encouragment to we tired and over worked Supermoms! Thanks Gabriella ;) It just so happens I had my Momma Day not that long ago and it definitely gave me the extra push to iron out my cape and keep going!

  2. Sometimes being the mum of a teen you just can’t get away, no one knows what you are going through with that teen…. Moods and ALL!!! That said, in order to be a better person to yourself and to your teen, you are correct you have to get away. I took the time while they were at school. I got out of the house and got a mani or pedi…. Or just a cup of coffee that someone else had made. It put me back on track, I also forgave myself for not wanting to be their mum….. I love my kids, teens and all…..

  3. {Melinda} This is such great advice! It’s not selfish to take time for ourselves sometimes. In fact, I think it makes us more energized and better mothers. Giving without taking a break makes us stressed out, worn out and resentful!

    Stopping by from SITS!

    http://motheringfromscratch.com

  4. Stopping my from the SITS sharefest and while I’m not a mom yet, I know this will come in handy down the road!

  5. I like that “Keep Calm and Mom on”. Being a mom can be totally overwhelming. Every now and then, I tell my husband that I need some time and I do something simple like head to a coffee house. Even taking a trip to Target by myself is surprisingly refreshing. Always nice to have a little time away and come back home to these smiling faces. :)

  6. Found you through SITSA’s Sharefest Saturday. I loved what you said. I have 3 boys, one of which is going to drive me to a padded cell or to drink. I love them dearly, but I need some space, a break, and some appreciation. This is the hardest job ever!

  7. Visiting from the UBP. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is my “time out.” Especially when hubby travels or works late shifts. It is important that mothers recharge their batteries so they can be better moms. Easier said that done!

  8. Say hi from the UBP14! Last week I finally got the courage to ask my parents to take the kids for the entire weekend. And they did! It was so quiet here without them. But it did wonders for me. I needed that break.

    http://myunwrittenlife.com/

  9. Good for you!! I hope you enjoyed your “Me Time”. Just stopped by your blog. Love the post on giving up your iPhone! It sounds just like me. :-)

  10. Well done you!!! Sometimes we forget that we need a little time for ourselves!!!

  11. Public school has offered a nice break for me which is why I wonder how I could daydream about homeschooling her. I may not be smart!

    • No need to daydream. If it’s something that you have thought about or really want to try…go for it! I think it really depends on the person, their level of patience, and in some cases their willingness to learn new things, as well as how to teach what they themselves just figured out. I have taught public school for years, and have experience planning curriculums from K-12 and supervising the professional development of teachers. It’s definitely not an easy thing to do, which is why I especially applaud and reach out to moms who do not have a teaching background. These moms have gone above and beyond to educate themselves on curriculum planning, they join other homeschool groups and blogs to share resources, and take the time to do the research on how best to teach their children. If you are lucky enough to have a school system where your children can learn with out behavioral distractions, and in some cases violence, then that is truly a blessing! I definitely agree with you regarding having a nice break while your children are at school. Believe me I have thought about that, but I have also thought about the number of school shootings and lockdowns. So,I managed to organize things in a way that allows me to have a few breaks. I think that many parents, like myself, live in big cities (Miami) where there is just so much school violence even in the “nice” areas. Homeschooling for many is the only option since safety is priority. Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and post a comment.

  12. But it all goes by so quickly. My oldest is graduating this year and going to college. I’m like where did the time go. But definitely take some time for yourself and your hubby. You’re kids appreciate it more when then see you do YOU.

  13. Amen! A fantastic reminder that, as a mother, you don’t always have to strive for perfection. It’s impossible! lol. Bad days happen. So glad to read that I’m not the only one. ;)
    New friend visiting from SITS :)

  14. Another great post! Hope you’ll join me every other Tuesday for #MotherhoodChat!

  15. Fabulous post and so true!

    Alone time is very important. I know if I don’t get it, I go nuts.

  16. Without my alone time I turn into Taz mom! lol :-)

  17. This is a nice post. I just really wish that i can do this! Me and hubby’s last time to go out thats just us is when we saw the social network. Imagine that!??? I will try to make take some time off and be me… #SITSSharefest

  18. Great post! I have found that getting time to myself is an absolute necessity. Taking care of ourselves is vital if we want to be the best Moms we can be. Thank you for reminding us of that! Visiting from Sits Sharefest.

    http://married-and-naked.com

  19. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing my post! :0)

  20. Thank you so much for sharing my post! :-)

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